Midlife: the sandwich years

No, not the food.

There was an article on the ABC news site recently about women having little time to themselves.  The women most missing out are women in the “sandwich years”, where you’re sandwiched between your children and your parents, all of whom need your care and attention.  This age varies but is roughly 30 onwards, maybe to around mid-50s to 60s for most of us. Of course this can affect men as well, but it is more pronounced in women as they are more commonly the carers for children and ageing parents.

Then I remembered another article recently about alcohol consumption and that not only were young people not drinking as much as their folks, or at all (which is excellent), but that women were drinking more and catching up to male drinking rates, which have always been higher.  The women drinking most?  Sandwich years women.

And then there is the ever-present media about cancer, and especially breast cancer in women.  There was a really powerful show on Insight last year about women drinking and I recommend you watch it (SBS, Wine o’clock)/  The association between alcohol and cancer has been well established for many years, but last year it got a little uglier for breast cancer which affects 1 in 8 Australian women.  One report found strong evidence that drinking the equivalent of one small glass of wine (100ml – which is much less than most people pour themselves at home) a day increases the risk of breast cancer by 5% if you are pre-menopausal and by 9% if you are post-menopausal. Another report found estimated that 22% of breast cancer cases were associated with alcohol.   In a third report Australian researchers found that less than one standard drink of alcohol per day could lead to a relapse in breast cancer in survivors.

Sandwich years women aren’t quite in the highest risk group for breast cancer diagnosis, but those years is when the risk starts to really climb, and risk accumulates over time, so drinking in these years increases your risk now and in the future.  Below is the incidence of breast cancer by age in Australia, and I have boxed the sandwich years.

So, sandwiched, needing a treat and some downtime, what’s a woman to do if not grab a glass of wine?

It starts by checking in with what is happening for you.

• How stressed are you feeling?
• How time-poor are you?
• Do you put yourself last and neglect tending to your own needs?
• When did you laugh until it hurt?
• How good do you feel?
• What’s happening with your hormones – is your PMS or menopause awful and kinda scary for the people you live with?
• And how much are you really drinking (including the drinks no-one knows about)?

Answering these questions really honestly can be enough to recognise the need to make some changes, so what can you do?  The answer to that depends on what the biggest issues are for you, but could include:

• Having a family chat about sharing the load.
• Getting outside help in, maybe to do the housework at your parents or doing your lawns.
• Speaking with your health care provider if you feel anxious or depressed.
• Try going without alcohol, or at least cutting back.  Check out Hello Sunday Morning for some inspiration.
• Get some vigorous exercise – it’s a good stress relief and reduces your risk for all cancers (new or recurrences) as well as other conditions.
• Catch up with friends.
• Get some sunshine.
• Head out into nature.
• Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
• Try something new, something creative.
• Eat well, loads of fresh fruit and veges, some protein (e.g. eggs, chook, beef, fish or legumes) and fats like avocado, nuts and seeds and fish.
• Care for yourself; not just have a bubble bath, but truly look after yourself: eat well, love and let yourself be loved, move and laugh.

Remember, it isn’t a selfish indulgence, it’s about survival!