5 tips to reduce postpartum anxiety

Feeling anxious after having a baby is common and entirely understandable, especially with your first baby.  Anxiety is at least as common as depression in pregnancy and postpartum, but we just don't seem to acknowledge it as much even though it can be absolutely debilitating.

Why you might feel anxious

Yikes, you have this wee little baby to care for!

You are overwhelmed by amount of learning, and trying to learn on little or no sleep and a big hormone plunge.  How many feeds are normal? How long ago did I feed, was it 10 minutes or 3 hours ago, I don't know? How many wet nappies is normal? When should they sleep and for how long? When am I going to be able to sleep?  Are they too hot? Too cold? Oh darn it, what was I meant to do with my caesa wound dressing?  Yay a shower - oh no, is that my baby screaming? Have I eaten today?  I don't know?!

On top of the information overload and overwhelm of having a baby, the physical demands of pregnancy, birth, recovery, and possibly breastfeeding means you might have significant nutrient depletions.  Postnatal/partum depletion affects you physically, mentally and emotionally and makes everything harder, and slows down recovery.

Women who had a history of anxiety may also be at greater risk of developing anxiety in pregnancy and postpartum as are women who had complications or trauma in their pregnancies and births. Then add things like being unwell, your baby being unwell, relationships stress, financial worries, having to go back to work when you don't feel ready or able, lack of support and isolation. You might also feel the pressure to lose your pregnancy weight, get super fit, post fab photos all over social media, cook up exotic meals and a whole world of things that you just don't need to be pressured about.

So, what can you do?

5 tips to help reduce anxiety 

1. Rest

This could be all 5 tips it is just so important.  And yep, it is so hard to get enough of, but still really prioritise rest; sleep when you can and when you can't, still rest.  Sit for 5 minutes and just look out the window.  Better still, go outside and sit in the sun for 10 minutes, and do nothing.  Or lie on the floor with your legs up the wall (if that is something you can do at the moment in your healing). No phone, no iPad, no book, no TV.  Just stop and rest.  You may need the next tip in order to be able to do this one.

2. Re-evaluate and then boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

Work out what you need and want to do, and say no to everything else.  This can be hard, especially if you're already feeling vulnerable, but get your partner to support you, ask a friend to help out too by backing you up or even being your spokesperson.  It is essential to rest as a new mum, and you can't do it all. Someone else can be the team manager, take your daughter to practice, or do the extra shift at work.  Boundaries also mean saying no to social events that you would normally go to, or classes you took regularly before having a baby.  They also mean saying no to visitors sometimes, especially if you end up looking after them and not the other way around, or if they criticise and undermine you.  This isn't forever, but it is necessary to rest, soothe and heal, and to reduce anxiety and worry.

3. Let people know how you are feeling

It's hard right, I know, but it is really important.  This is in two categories - loved ones and health professionals.  Letting your partner, friends or family know how anxious you are feeling can be hard, but it reduces how isolated you feel and they can support you.  Speaking with a health professional is also helpful, as we can help identify the need for counselling, sleep support, or nutritional or hormonal issues that would be contributing to feeling so rotten.  We can also help with relaxation techniques and herbal medicine.  Gentle yoga and massage can also be very grounding.

4. If ever in doubt, breath out

Are you holding in your breath now as you read?  Are your breathes shallow or deep, slow breaths  It is so easy to hold our breath, or to take little shallow breaths when we are anxious, but taking slow, deep breathes simulates your parasympathetic nervous system which promotes a sense of calm.  You can do a formal practice of 20 minutes, or you can also just take a couple a slow deep breaths when you notice you're feeling anxious, or when you put the kettle on, or something in between, whatever works at the time.  The trick is, if you do it regularly, even when you aren't feeling stressed or tense, then when you need to do it when you're anxious, all that practice helps it be more effective - a bit training for a race.

While you're learning how to do it, it might be easier to follow these simple steps, but once you're a pro you'll be able to do it anywhere almost automatically.

• Sit in a comfortable position with your back supported and your feet on the ground, or lie on the floor, or your bed or sofa.
• Relax your shoulders, lowering them away from your ears.
• Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen below your belly button.
• Breathe in through your nose for about two or three seconds, feeling the air in your nostrils and throat, and your lower abdomen pushing out as your lungs fill and push down into your abdomen; focus on your abdomen rather than your chest. Pause at the end of the in-breath.
• Then slowly exhale through pursed lips. And repeat.

5. Nourish your nerves

Sounds a bit basic, but being dehydrated and underfed will make you feel much, much worse.  When we don't eat regularly our blood sugar can drop which makes us feel jittery, anxious and sometimes hangry, which is the last thing you need.  Try to avoid stimulants (coffee, coke, too much chocolate, energy drinks) and too much sugar as they will increase adrenalin and anxiety.  Having some carbs (veges, bread, legumes) and protein (legumes, dairy, animal protein, nuts and seeds) and fats (olive oil, avo, nuts and seeds, butter, coconut oil) will help soothe your nervous system.  That might sound complex, but it might be peanut butter on toast, or a soup and toast or yoghurt with banana and chopped nuts on top.

Herbal teas are another great option - they can be soothing, warming and help keep you hydrated.  More on that another day, but passionflower and chamomile are great places to start.

And know that you are not alone, you can do this, and other mothers feel the same.  Please don't try to soldier on alone - reach out.