Rest, relax, restore

Where do you start when trying to feel better in midlife, when you’re tired all the time, don’t have energy for anything even remotely fun, you’re are irritable and can’t remember things that you know really well?⁠
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You start at the foundations and build up from there.⁠
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And yes, sometimes you need to start with the foundation plus some of the other steps – you might absolutely need medication, hormones, magnesium, B12, counselling … whatever it is, at the outset. ⁠
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But for all of that to be most effective, you need to get the solid foundation in place.⁠
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And that foundation is **restorative rest**. ⁠
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Not just a wee lie down.⁠
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Not a weekend sleep in.⁠
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But intentional, restorative rest where you remove yourself from the unending demands and stressors, and focus on soothing your nervous system and restoring your capacity and wellbeing.⁠

So let’s look at (garden-variety) rest, relaxation and restorative rest a bit

Restorative rest is introduced in the Rest Intensive as the foundation for health and wellbeing in midlife, perimenopause and postmenopause.⁠ ⁠As the way to reduce fatigue, brain fog and mood changes.⁠
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⁠(While I am speaking about midlife in particular this model applies in general too. And I want to be very clear that while restorative rest is the foundation, and therapeutics are at the top, you do not need to climb each layer before you take therapeutics.)⁠
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To be honest, there’s a lot of different interpretations of rest, relaxation and restorative rest/restoration, so I thought it would be helpful to explain what I mean by rest (and especially restorative rest). Let’s start with some dictionary definitions.

Rest

• to stop work or movement in order to relax, sleep, or recover strength
• a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities

You might rest in-between sets at the gym, or take a break from doing the chores and having a cuppa before getting up and doing more.

Relax

• to make less tense or rigid
• to relieve from nervous tension
• to seek rest or recreation (e.g. to rest chilling at the beach)
• to cast off social restraint, nervous tension, or anxiety

You might relax by having a hot Epsom salt bath, or have a massage, or use some relaxation techniques to overcome nervousness about presenting in a meeting.

Restore

• to give back or return
• to put or bring back into existence or use
• to bring back to or put back into a former or original state – to renew (feel like my old self again)

Note; the opposite of restore or restoration, is to weaken, undermine, cripple, depress, split or dull.

Restorative rest

Restorative rest is to intentionally remove ourselves from the ever-present need to do more, do better, to fix and the constant striving.

It is where we get to after stopping, relaxing and then taking it one step further to soothe our nervous systems, and deeply rest.  It is both calm and restful and improves your energy.

Restorative rest isn’t just a big sleep (though that is divine!), it is an intentional deep rest through practices like mindfulness and yoga nidra.

While rest, relaxation and restorative rest are related, I hope the differences are clear.

• Rest is a breather
• Relaxation is short-term recovery and replenishment
• Restorative rest is healing and increases your capacity, function and wellbeing

That’s why I created The Rest Intensive. So many women I speak with in their 40s and beyond are burnt out, stressed, exhausted, physically and mentally blah, and then hit perimenopause and menopause. The combination leaves them so depleted and so not their usual selves. They report fatigue, brain fog, irritability, anxiety, depression, worsening PMS, and all the physical symptoms of aches, gut stuff, headaches, hot flushes, weight gain, awful periods and more.

We can work to replenish nutrients and reduce symptoms, but at the core is a need for restorative rest.

Restorative rest is the foundation on which health is built.

All the other (important) strategies rely upon, and work best, on this solid foundation (strategies like nutrition, movement, sleep, supplementation, herbal medicine, counselling, pharmaceuticals).

A great place to start is to sit and have a cool drink or cuppa, and do nothing other than relax and be present, enjoying your drink. Or listening to a short relaxation track on a free app.